Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
