I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
