i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
My butt remains clenched, sir.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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