another moral hangover. fuck.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Randomize
