he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
