I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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