Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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