Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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