that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
