Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Your cock deserves a montage
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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