Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
