All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
