Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
