he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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