Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
How's work?
Spinning.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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