May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
