This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
You ruined the universe
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
