Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
It's just like the Real World with babies
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
