And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
