Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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