This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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