At least make sure they are 18
Why
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
