i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i would punch a child for taco bell
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
