so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
