aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
