ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
i think my cat just said my name.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Randomize
