just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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