Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
