drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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