I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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