My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Houston, we have a blender
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
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