When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
