Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
this hospital has no fireball
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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