Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Randomize
