please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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