I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
