The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Actions speak louder than pants.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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