So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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