As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize
