Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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