i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
