Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
