that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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