just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
