My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
