Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Randomize
