need another drink. this is the easiest way
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
