With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
how does that bad decision feel?
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