bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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