Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Randomize
