have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
